Doesn't really seem like a good day to start such an important journey.  Its cold, its raining, my knees are aching as they always do when weather starts to turn cold.  My eyes barely want to stay open, and my back is not feeling like its on top of its game.

Its important to get all the complaining out of the was first,  I think it helps to get the negativity out of the way to make room for more positive thoughts.

Now I know I've done this 100 times before, but I don't think I've ever felt quite this determined.  This time its not just about loosing weight, although that is VERY  important, its about changing everything.  Everything in my life that I loathe.  Which is, lets face it, just about everything.  I'm tired of always being the "fat" one, and I"m tired of being scared all the time, and I"m tired of being miserable with my life.  I'm the only one who can change things.  I've always known this, but I"ve never done anything about.  I just sit around feeling self pity, but I don't do anything.  That's got to change.  Its up to me.  I'll fight against those who only want to bring me down, the unsupportive ones, who think that I am lazy or that think what they do is more important than when I need to do.  Fuck those who think they know better than me, and that my only purpose here is to take care of children and picking up after everyone like a GD maid.  Fuck all of them!!!!  I"m tired of all the bullshit and since I"m the only one who can change it, that's what I'm going to do.